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Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids, by Christina McGhee

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The ultimate resource for separated and divorced parents, written by an internationally acclaimed expert on divorce and its impact on children.
This comprehensive and empowering guide is filled with practical, effective ways to minimize the effects of divorce on children, and offers immediate solutions to the most critical parenting problems divorce brings. In this go-to resource, Christina McGhee addresses the issues of utmost importance to parents:
? How and when to tell the children about the divorce
? Guiding children through transition
?Helping children cope with having two homes
?Dealing with finances
?Managing a difficult relationship with an ex
?And more
Offering advice on explaining things to every age group-from toddlers to teenagers-in plain, consistent, and age-appropriate terms, Parenting Apart also offers practical suggestions for parents to help them maintain their own sense of stability and take care of their own well-being while taking care of their kids.
- Sales Rank: #194800 in Books
- Published on: 2010-08-03
- Released on: 2010-08-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .90" w x 5.60" l, .76 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 397 pages
Review
"This indispensable resource should be placed in the hands of every separated and divorced parent" Jack Canfield, Co-author of Chicken Soup for the Single Parent's Soul "Parenting Apart is the book every child wishes their divorced parents would read" Amy McCready, Parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions
About the Author
Christina McGhee is an internationally acclaimed divorce coach and parent educator, who has devoted her career to help families successfully manage the challenges of divorce. She works closely with Resolution, an organisation of 6,000 lawyers that handles 80% of all divorces in England and Wales and promotes child-focused solutions. In addition to maintaining a private practice, she hosts an online resource for parents, www.divorceandchildren.com and has appeared on the Channel 4 documentary How to Divorce Without Screwing up Your Children.
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
A Wealth of Information for Separated and Divorced Parents!
By Shelley G.
I highly recommend Christina McGhee's "Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids," for any separated or divorced parents. This is not a book that you sit down and read from cover to cover. It is an excellent resource/how-to-guide for parents. Christina has divided the book into 5 main sections:
Part One -"How am I Going to Get Through This?" -
Here Christina addresses, stress, self care, balance, understanding the emotional divorce, changing how you think/relate/communicate with your former spouse, managing the legal system and how to avoid the many pitfalls.
Part Two -"How Children Are Affected by Divorce" -
Here Christina explains factors that affect how children manage and adjust to divorce. She provides separate sections for all age groups beginning with infants through 18 years of age. What I love about this section is that Christina addresses the developmental/behavioral stages of children for a specified age group, then gives you clues of what to look for in your children's behavior, provides useful tips on how you can help your child and then gives you ideas on parenting your children in each of the age groups and why the parenting tips are important.
Part Three - "A Guide to the Most Common Problems and Issues for Divorced or Separated Parents" -
Christina begins with how to tell your children that you are separating, why it is important, when is the best time, what to say and even breaks it down into specific age groups. This is so improtant - as children need this information provided to them at an age appropriate level. Christina even addresses what to do "If You Say the Wrong Thing." She has an entire chapter (15) on "What to Do When Children ask Why?" Supporting the Other Parent's Relationship (Yes, as hard as it is - it's something you do for your kids), ther is alsoa chapter on the "Two-Home Concept and What Helps Children" all about how you can help your children adjust to 2 homes - excellent information, followed by a chapter on "Creating a Schedule and Agreement That Works for Your Children" - most parents who have never been divorced can certainly use advice in this area, as well as "Parenting Pointers for On-Duty and Off-Duty Parents"(includes time management tips!. Then there is Financial Issues - what do kids need to know?, how to handle one parent having more money than another. A complete chapter on "Dealing with a Difficult Ex" how to manage the conflict, especially when one parent is conflictive and that parent does not see themselves as "the problem" - Great tips in this section for having integrity and not letting the conflict rule your life, doing what you can do. A chapter on "Less-Than-Ideal Situations" which include alcoholism, substance abuse, physical, emotional or sexual abuse of a child, domestic violence, mental health issues, abandonment or parental neglect, problems with rage. How to stay safe and how to help your children manage less than ideal situations. An entire chapter on Parental Alienation - what it is and how to respond to it, characteristics, misconceptions about alienation and what parents can do. Christina has chapters on "How to Help Children Deal with Feelings and Be a Good Listener.", "How to Handle Things When Your Child Is Angry", "What to do When Your Child Is Sad" and "When to Get Help For Children" - so often parents are caught up in the emotional roller coaster of divorce, getting through the process that they often overlook or may not recognize that their children need some help dealing with the divorce. The last chapter in this section address "When Children Hear Bad Things About One of Their Parents" - this is more common than you might think. I love how Christina explains what badmouthing is and how it affects the children, as well as ways parents engage in badmouthing (maybe without even realizing it)she helps parents put badmouthing into perspective and gives tips on what you can do to stop badmouthing, and what do when your ex is badmouthing you, and how you can help your children cope with the problem, did you ever stop to think of badmouthing backfiring?
Section Four is "Moving on from Divorce" -
Christina addresses going from We to Me, redfining your family, dating and new relationships including how to know when to introduce your kids to the person your dating, considering your children. Just because you may be ready to introduce someone your're dating to your children does not mean that they are ready to meet him/her. Before you say I DO again, Tips for a Successful Second Marriage, Points for Merging Families. Christina introduces the term "Bonus Parent" instead of Stepparent. Bonus means "an unexpected benefit, something given or received in addition to." Christina tells how she never liked the term stepparent. Her and the children from her husband's first marriage decided they liked the term bonus parent, bonus families because it was a more positive way to describe their by-choice family relationship.
At the end of the book Christina includes numerous resources for Children, Parents, and the many aspects of divorce.
Christina's approach is always positive and encouraging. She provides suggestions and practical, easy to implement, methods for parents to co-parent effectively. You may not be able to control the other parent and their choices, but what you can do is make informed, educated, decisions on how you will parent your children. Christina's book is the perfect resource to guide you through divorce as a parent and transition into an effective co-parenting relationship with your ex. Her book is a comprehensive, well written, easy to follow guide for any divorcing or divorced parents. Parenting Apart is one of those books that you can go to when you experience new situations or stages as your children grow. It is worth much more than the price you will pay to purchase this book. You will not be disappointed."
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I highly recommend this book!
By Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.
If you're divorced or separated and you are trying to co-parent, do yourself a favor and immediately get this book! Parenting Apart is a valuable resource for any divorced or separated couple who is raising children. Considering the high percentage of divorced couples, this book fills an important need for parents and especially, children. The chapter, "How to Tell Your Children You Are Getting a Divorce" alone is worth the price of the book. Invaluable are the chapters that address the different emerging needs of children at different developmental levels (from newborns through to adolescence). Thank you to the author for writing this much-needed book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Must-Have Resource for Families of Divorce
By V. Thornton
Christina McGhee's knowledge and practical advice is amazing. Instead of just trying to "get through" such a difficult life change, Christina helps families THRIVE, find the positive and make family adjustments less stressful. Tons of realistic and usable tips for all families members ranging from dealing with finances to breaking the news to kids; communicating with your ex-spouse to children living out of two homes; and taking care of yourself to strengthening family bonds. She covers it all! This is the perfect resource for anyone coping with Divorce.
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